February and March were and still are tough on me. I want to find my love for what I do and myself. These past couple weeks have been a little daunting and stressful which is why I step back from what is precious to me and you know throw a little self pity party almost. Yes, I had to deal with my health but that’s nothing new and it’s not going away—it’s always going to be a factor. But I can deal with it...i have no choice. I’m not sad, it’s annoying that I am limited now and the things I used to do, it’s a struggle. Truly disappointing because I know I’m meant to do more besides staying in the bed. I’m going insane, the only thing I have to excite me is the blog and Grey’s Anatomy. I’m don’t even care that I’m binging on Netflix right now.
One of my biggest goals is to travel to Europe and I can’t do that from my bed. I’m watching life pass me by and it’s so sad. I want more, I deserve it, and I need it. But, it starts with me. I need to push myself pass my limits. I admit I’m afraid of pressure it will put on me and my body but I’m so done with my pain controlling my life.
Long story short, from this day on I’m setting goals for each day that I must accomplish for that day. Everyday, I will take a step to fixing my pain and growing stronger. I can’t go back on my word...because it’s written on the blog and now on the internet.
This is my journey to finding my happiness. This is my start.